By now it’s a truism that the evolution of the fledgling crypto world is one of progressively learning anew all the oldest lessons of establishment finance. It turns out governments do care about money laundering. Turns out you do need deposit insurance. Turns out wildly manipulated markets aren’t fun. The flip side of that process is that as bitcoin and its peers grow, all the same hucksters and opportunists that prowl mainstream finance have set up shop amid the irresistible gold rush of crypto land.

So it was only a matter of time before we encountered Bitcoin Boiler Room. That’s the actual name of an actual enterprise seeking skilled job applicants on Craigslist San Francisco. With a screengrab from Wolf of Wall Street as its banner image, the post begins:

Are you interested in being a part of the greatest financial movement in the history of money?

Can you close an inbound call from an interested prospect who knows what you are selling and wants to buy now?

Bitcoin is poised to break $5000 per coin in the next 30 days and is projected to reach over 100k within the next 5-10 years.

Now is the perfect time to get involved.

As the ad explains, Bitcoin Boiler Room (actual name) sells a crypto trading service that generates “better than 1% a day on accounts” for investors. All that’s needed now is boiler room operators to man the phones and inform John Q. Public about this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Job applicants might want to know something about finance and marketing, but those credentials are negotiable. The only real requirement is having bitcoin:

We are looking for experience financial service sales pros for our boiler room but will consider anyone with a marketing and sales background.

Knowledge of Bitcoin and the Blockchain is preferred but not required.

However you must be willing to purchase Bitcoin to work with our clients. (you must have skin in the game!!! ) Do not contact us if you don’t believe in Bitcoin enough to own some.

So what’s the trading service that Bitcoin Boiler Room employees will be tasked with hawking to the masses? According to a pair of highly informative Youtube videos (this one is truly a work of art), it appears to be an automated stop-loss algo developed by Trade Coin Club, which buys and sells your bitcoin and takes a cut of the gains.

With TCC, there is literally no way to lose: “When it goes down you make money, when it goes up you make money, we make thousands upon thousands of transactions every single day,” explains Joff Paradise (actual name), the apparent proprietor of TCC. “You’re putting your bitcoin at little-to-no risk at all.”

Here’s a highlight:

No skills required! Perfect. But it gets better. As a TCC member, the more people you recruit, the more crypto you make. Thanks to the compounding beauty of the vaguely pyramid-shaped matrix pictured below, you could end up making 2,391 bitcoins a month, which at current prices means nearly $14 million monthly. Only a fool would pass that up!

You might also earn this highly sophisticated pen or a chance to “be on a boat with a lot of other TCC people members,” where you will have the opportunity to recruit the captain and crew, as Paradise explains. Lamborghinis and Rolexes are some of the other perks.

What are you waiting for?

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